Mr Monk Comes to Smallville
by baseballfan44
Summary: Crossover with Monk. What happens when Adrian Monk and co. come to Smallville to investigate a murder? Chaos ensues, thats what. Takes place 5 days after Krypto in a world without Jason.
1. Smallville? Where's That?

**Mr. Monk Comes To Smallville**

Summary: What happens when Mr. Monk comes to Smallville to investigate a murder mystery? Chaos ensues, that's what. Smallville/Monk crossover. This takes place five days after "Krypto" in a world without Jason.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, so don't sue.

One more thing. Please excuse anything uncharacteristic about Monk in here, cause I just became a fan quite recently.

**Chapter 1: Smallville? Where's That?**

The unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang in the night air as the UHF (Unidentified Hooded Figure) wearing black gloves with what looked like green paint on his hands pulled the trigger on a rifle. The victim fell to the ground in a pool of his own blood. The UHF ran away from the now vacant field after dropping the gun.

As he (or she, but for now we'll just call he/she a "he") got to the farm's entrance, he looked up and saw a sign that read "KENT FARM". He looked down and saw garbage cans a few feet away. If he could just run over there without being seen, then maybe—Yes! He could dispose of his evidence.

* * *

Hours after this "little incident", Clark Kent walked outside, intending to do his chores. As he headed to the barn, he looked out into the field to see Lois Lane taking a peaceful morning walk. _Probably trying to figure out how to torture me today, _he thought. 

He went into the barn, where he found his family's recently acquired dog, Shelby, following him closely. Since Shelby became a member of the Kent family, Clark was seldom seen around the farm without him. He didn't mind; he liked the company.

Suddenly, he heard Lois scream. He sprinted as fast as a normal human being would go, since he didn't want Lois to see him use his powers.

"What is it Lois?" he asked as he got there and saw Lois with her eyes practically popping out of her head.

"Smallville, do you mind explaining to me why there's a dead body in your field?" Even in a time of crisis, Lois still used the nickname that Clark hated with a fiery passion.

Clark looked down to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, there was a dead body lying right there for all the world to see. Shelby let out a soft cry before leaning down to sniff the body.

Clark x-rayed the man with his nifty x-ray vision. "Looks like he got shot."

"No really. That's why there's a big bullet hole right in his chest. Who is he anyways?"

"I don't know," Clark responded.

* * *

"So, Miss Lane," Sheriff Adams, began, "how did you find this body?" 

"Well," Lois answered, "I was just taking a walk around the fields and I just, kind of, saw him."

"I see." Sheriff Adams had gloves on, and she held the rifle. She made her way over to Clark's parents, Martha and Jonathan.

"Mr. Kent?" Sheriff Adams said. "Is this your rifle?"

After looking closely at it, Jonathan was surprised to identify that rifle as his own. He nodded.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kent, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to search your property," Sheriff Adams announced.

"Fair enough," Jonathan said. "We have nothing to hide."

"We'll see about that," Sheriff Adams said.

After searching the entire Kent property, Sheriff Adams had located the green painted gloves in the trashcan. She made Jonathan try the left one on, and it fit him perfectly. She saw that the one on the right hand had been stretched out, just big enough for Jonathan's plaster-casted arm to fit in.

Some sort of super-dog had recently attacked Jonathan, and it bit him straight through the bone.

This all made Jonathan Kent a suspect in the murder of, well, ol' what's-his-name. "Mr. Kent," Sheriff Adams said somewhat solemnly, "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to keep you in custody for being a suspect in the murder of this currently unidentified man."

* * *

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, California, police captain Leland Stottlemeyer was checking his e-mail. He kept in close contact with his niece, Lois Lane (not an uncle on the same side of the family as Chloe), and she had sent him an e-mail about her friend's dad being a suspect in a murder investigation. She said she knew he didn't do it, but she had no proof. 

Stottlemeyer started thinking about his friend, Adrian Monk. He was good at that kind of stuff. Proving an innocent person innocent, and then finding the guilty one. He wondered if maybe . . . nah, that would be too much to ask. Especially since it required getting on an airplane. The last time (that he could think of) Monk went on an airplane was with his former assistant, Sharona, a couple of years ago when he solved a murder mystery. What else was new?

"Hey Captain," a voice said. He looked up to see Lieutenant Randy Disher standing there.

"What is it, Randy?" he asked.

"Oh, nothin', you were just spacing off, so I was trying to snap you out of it."

Stottlemeyer ignored this and turned back to his e-mail. _Poor Lois, _he thought. He knew how much she liked living with the Kents, as much as she didn't want to admit it. He wrote a reply back saying he and a couple of friends were coming there to help prove her Mr. Kent's innocence.

Now, the hard part was telling Mr. Monk he had to get on an airplane.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?" Monk asked Stottlemeyer, after the captain told him he had to fly to Kansas to investigate a murder mystery. 

"Mr. Monk," Natalie Teeger, Monk's current assistant broke in, "just give it a try."

"Why do I have to?" Monk asked in a whiny voice.

"Because," said Stottlemeyer. "I already told my niece we were coming. I barely ever ask you for anything. Please?"

"Oh, all right," Monk gave in, only because it wasn't often when he saw the Captain say please. "But where exactly are we going?"

"Smallville Kansas," the Captain told him.

"Smallville?" Natalie repeated. "Where's that?"

"In Kansas," the Captain replied, for which Natalie gave him a dirty look in reply.

"I figured that," she said bitterly. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as you guys are ready," Stottlemeyer answered.

"Well in that case," Monk said, "we'll see you in about forty years. I might be ready by then."

* * *

Lois received the e-mail from her Uncle Leland. She never meant for him to come there, but she wasn't just going to make him go home. She just hoped the Kents would feel the same way. 

"Hey, Lois," Clark said.

"Clark, do you respect privacy at all?" Lois asked without looking up. "You just came barging in here, not even a knock-"

"Lois," Clark said. "I'm not in your room. I'm out in the hall and your door is open."

Now Lois looked up. "Oh, shut up, Clarkie."

Clark grinned. "I just came up to ask you what you would want on a pizza. Mom's being questioned at the police station, and that's what we're doing for dinner."

"I eat pretty much anything, except for gross stuff, like anchovies and olives and stuff."

"Okay," Clark said. "Pepperoni, peppers, and onions then."

Lois nodded. "Clark?"

"What?" Clark didn't really like the guilty tone of voice that Lois was using.

"Do you think your parents would mind if my uncle and a couple friends were to oh, I don't know, come out here and investigate the murder?"

Clark raised an eyebrow. "You told uncle about this?"

Lois nodded sheepishly. "I don't know why, but he wants to."

"Is this the one from San Francisco?" Clark asked.

Lois nodded. "That's the one."

"It depends. Are they good detectives?"

"I don't know," Lois said.

"Are they staying here?"

"I don't know."

Clark sighed. He just hoped these guys were good, because he did want his dad's name to be cleared.

* * *

"I hate rental cars," Monk complained as he, Stottlemeyer, Natalie, and Natalie's twelve-year-old daughter Julie rode in a silver Ford Taurus on their way to Smallville. They had flown into the Metropolis airport and now were on the 2-hour drive between the two towns. 

"More than airplanes?" Julie asked snidely, which was met with a disapproving glare from Natalie.

"No," Monk replied, "no, not quite. At least here we're at ground level."

They passed a sign that read "SMALLVILLE—Meteor Capital of the World" on it. All four passengers wondered what this meant.

Julie was not excited about having to go to Smallville. She had made that very clear to her mother, but still, she had to go. But that didn't stop her from asking why.

"Mom, why'd I have to come again?" she whined.

"Because," Natalie said in an irritated tone, "I don't know how long we're gonna be here, and I don't want you staying at home by yourself. We've already been through this. In fact, we've been through this three times and this time makes four."

"Yeah, well, I still don't have to like it."

One hour, a stop for gas, three stops for directions, and two wrong turns later, Stottlemeyer pulled the car into a driveway under the KENT FARM sign. "Well, we're here," he said.

"Great," Monk said from the passenger seat. "Let's not hurry here, we don't want to have to get back on that airplane too soon."

The got out of the car and proceeded to the front door. Before they knocked, a voice came from behind them. "Uncle Leland?"

"Hey Lois," Stottlemeyer. "I'd like you to meet Adrian Monk, his assistant Natalie Teeger, and her daughter Julie."

"It's nice to meet you," Lois said with a smile. "Welcome to Smallville." _They have no idea what they're getting themselves into, do they? _She thought to herself.

* * *

A/N: That's all for now, so bring on them reviews, because I really really need them. I feed off them, I live off them, and yeah, whatever. Bottom line is, just review. I ain't gonna update without a review.  



	2. Eww, I Got Nature on My Foot!

A/N: Here's another chapter for ya'll. Hope you enjoy. Please oh please review at the end.

**  
Chapter 2: Eww, I Got Nature on My Foot!**

Lois led her uncle and his friends into the house. Monk seemed happy so far about how clean Mrs. Kent kept the house.

"Apparently Clark and his mom are not home," Lois said, more to herself then to her guests. "I thought they were. I should call Clark."

"Not necessary Lois," Clark said, coming down the stairs. "I'm right here."

"Uh, Clark," Lois started. "This is my uncle, Leland Stottlemeyer, Adrian Monk, his assistant Natalie Teeger, and her daughter Julie."

Clark smiled. "It's nice to meet you."

"Very nice," Julie said, staring at Clark.

"_Julie!_" Natalie hissed with her teeth clenched.

"Sorry." Julie blushed.

"Is your mom here?" Lois asked Clark.

Clark shook his head. "Yeah, she's outside."

"Did you tell her they were coming?" Lois said.

Clark nodded. "We don't mean to be inhospitable or anything, but we don't really have a place for you guys to stay here . . ." his voice trailed off.

"Oh that's okay," Stottlemeyer said. "We already booked a couple a rooms in a motel in town. Anyways, Monk here might be able to help your dad out. May we see the scene of the crime?"

Lois and Clark nodded in unison. "Follow me," Clark said.

The six of them went out and saw the scene of the crime. When they got there, they were all silent as Monk set out to take in every detail.

There wasn't much to see, just some matted down grasses stained a crimson red. But Monk still examined and studied it closely.

Clark looked at Lois questioningly, and Lois returned the look with a shrug.

Monk squatted down where he noticed some grayish powder, like ashes, on the ground. "Clark, does your dad smoke?" he asked.

Clark shook his head. "No."

"Well, this person did," Monk said. "Cigarettes." He was silent for a few more moments, while Clark and Lois were still confused and Stottlemeyer, Natalie, and Julie were acting like this was an everyday occurrence (because for them it was). "I want to talk to your dad, Clark."

"Okay. I can take you down to the police station."

Monk nodded with satisfaction and stood up. He looked down at his feet and saw what looked like mud on his foot, but it wasn't. It was cow dung.

"Natalie," he said, obviously panicking. "Oh, Natalie, I got nature on my foot! I need a wipe! Wipe!"

"Okay," Natalie said, opening her purse. "Hang on." She continued to dig in her purse, while Monk was panicking further.

"Oh, please don't tell me you lost the wipes!" Monk whined.

Natalie cringed before being poked by her daughter. "Not now, Julie."

"Mom, I was just going to say you asked me to hold onto the wipes a long time ago. They're right here."

Natalie and Monk both breathed a sigh of relief. Clark and Lois continued to look at each other in confusion until Stottlemeyer gave them a look that said, "This is normal for him. Just bear with it."

* * *

Clark took Stottlemeyer, Monk, and Natalie to the police station and Lois decided to show Julie around town. One place they went to was the Talon. Lois's cousin Chloe Sullivan was sitting at a table, working on her laptop and sipping a latte. 

"Hey, Lois," she greeted when she saw Lois and a girl coming in. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Julie Teeger, my Uncle Leland's friend's assistant's daughter. Man, that was a mouthful."

"Right," Chloe said, confused. "I heard about Mr. Kent. How's he doing?"

"Okay for the moment," Lois replied. "That's why my uncle, his friend, his friend's assistant, and Julie are here. They came to prove Mr. Kent innocent. Apparently the friend is some kind of detective or something."

"Oh. Well, Julie, I'm Chloe Sullivan, Lois's cousin." They shook hands.

Just then, Lois and Chloe and Clark's friend, Lana Lang came down the stairs, emerging from her apartment that was above the coffee shop. Lana was filled in, and introduced to Julie.

"Welcome to Smallville," Lana greeted with a smile.

"I have a question," Julie said. "Why does the sign say Smallville is 'the meteor capital of the world?'"

Chloe assumed the responsibility of answering this question. "Back in 1989, there was a massive meteor shower that struck in Smallville."

Julie nodded. "Oh."

* * *

Clark, Stottlemeyer, Monk, and Natalie made it into the police station, and Sheriff Adams only let Clark and Monk in to see him. Monk kept turning his foot over and glancing at the bottom. It was the same one that had "nature" on it before. 

They were led to a room that was divided in half by a glass wall. Prisoners were on one side while everyone else was on the other. They talked to each other using phones. Clark and Monk were led to a booth where Jonathan was already sitting on the other side.

"Ten minutes," Sheriff Adams said, and then she walked away. Clark sat down and picked up one of the phones.

"Hey Dad," he said. "How ya doin'?"

"Fine. Your mom told me about Lois's uncle coming."

"Yeah. Dad, this right here," he pointed to Monk, "is Adrian Monk. He's a detective."

Jonathan gave a half smile at the man who wasn't really paying attention, but using a wipe between the grooves on the soles of his shoes.

"What's he doing?" Jonathan asked.

"Don't ask," Clark said. He took the phone away from his ear. "You want to talk to my dad?"

Monk nodded. Clark handed him the phone, but Monk didn't take it until after he discarded the first wipe and got himself a new one. He held the phone in the wipe and didn't hold the phone to his ear.

"Mr. Kent?" he said. All he got in reply was a blank stare from Jonathan.

"What was with wiping your shoes?" Jonathan asked. He figured that might be impolite, but he couldn't suppress the urge to ask anyways.

"I got nature on my foot back at your farm," he said. "Anyways, I just have a couple of questions for you."

"Okay, shoot."

"Do you smoke?"

Jonathan shook his head.

"How long ago did you break your arm?" Monk had (obviously) noticed the blue plaster cast on Jonathan's arm.

"Six days ago."

Monk nodded with satisfaction. Jonathan was confused about the randomness of these questions. He asked a few more random questions and then he was done and Clark talked to him for the remainder of the time.

After the ten minutes was up, a deputy showed up on Jonathan's side to lead him back to his cell. Monk and Clark went back out into the main area where Natalie and Stottlemeyer were waiting. Sheriff Adams just happened to be walking by, and Monk stopped to talk to her.

"Do you mind if I take a look at the evidence against Jonathan?" he asked.

Sheriff Adams sighed. "Look, Mr. Monk. I ain't too thrilled about havin' a few out o' town lawmen in my town tryin' to investigate a murder they weren't even assigned to. So if you don't mind--"

Clark cut her off. "Please Sheriff," he pleaded. "I just wanna prove my dad innocent."

She sighed. "Alright Mr. Kent, I'll bite. But there better be a point to this."

Clark smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Sheriff."

The sheriff hesitantly led the group of four back into the room where evidence was kept. She pulled out a Ziploc baggy with the gloves in it. Monk saw while they were still in the bag how stretched out one of them was.

"Hey Natalie," Monk said. "Where are the tweezers?"

"Hang on," Natalie said. She dug through her purse and pulled out some tweezers.

Monk accepted them before opening the Ziploc baggy and using the tweezers to pull out the stretchy glove.

"I don't think Mr. Kent murdered anyone, not with these gloves," he announced. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "I think this is green paint . . . well whatever it is, it's a handprint. The exact shape of a handprint, on the right hand. Mr. Kent's right arm is broken. There's no way he could have made that kind of handprint with a cast on."

Clark and Sheriff Adams stared blankly at Monk. "Amazing," Clark muttered, stunned.

"Did you think it's possible it could be stained from another time?" Sheriff Adams asked.

Monk sniffed the green stuff. "Maybe. I don't think this is paint though. I wanna take a look at the body."

Clark immediately knew what it was.

"Well, I guess you're just gonna have to go to the morgue then, Mr. Monk," Sheriff said.

"Well then," Clark said. "Let's go." He led Monk, Natalie, and Stottlemeyer out of the room.

"Does anybody mind if we get something to eat first?" Stottlemeyer asked. "I'm starving. Maybe a cup of coffee, too."

Nobody minded. "My mom runs a coffee shop in town," Clark said. "I'll take you there. It's on the way anyways."

The four of them headed to the coffee shop where Lois, Julie, Chloe, and Lana were still sitting and chatting.

"Hey guys," Clark said. "Well, Julie, I guess you met Chloe and Lana."

Julie nodded, grinning at him, and Clark proceeded to introduce everyone else.

"So what'd you guys find out?" Lana asked.

Clark explained Monk figuring out about the handprint, and how he didn't think the green stuff was paint.

"So do you think it's . . ." Chloe's voice trailed off.

"Our favorite green stuff," Clark finished.

"Okay, do you mind explaining?" Natalie asked. "What's your favorite green stuff?"

"Meteor rock," Chloe explained. "They're green, and they seem to be the reason for everything, um, weird you guys might experience here."

"Do they explain why I can't get the nature off the bottom of my foot?" Monk asked.

**A/N: And there you have it! Please review cause I really want you to and thank ya so much for the ones from the last chapter! Sorry, but this story will not be updated this fast in the future. Long weekend, nothing to do, yeah.**


	3. Welcome to Mayberry

A/N: I don't know why, so don't ask, but as I was writing this chapter I was watching TV Land's "Tribute to Don Knotts Marathon" and so I decided to make a game for anyone who knows the Andy Griffith Show really well. So . . . how many Andy Griffith references can you find in this chapter (title included)? Prizes . . . uh . . . to be determined later.

** Chapter 3: Welcome to Mayberry**

Later, after everyone had a little something to eat, Clark took Monk, Natalie, and Stottlemeyer to the morgue so Monk could check out the dead body. Lois and Chloe took Julie to the Torch to see if they could find any missing persons in hopes to find out who was murdered.

"Look at this," Chloe said after an hour or two of searching. Julie and Lois came over to Chloe's computer to see what she was talking about. There was a picture of a skinny looking man on the screen.

Lois laughed. "He looks like Barney Fife," she commented. "But that's the same guy."

"Well this Barney Fife's real name is Otis Foley," Chloe said.

"Otis? Are we in Smallville, or Mayberry?" Lois wondered.

"Don't know," Chloe said. "Anyways, he was last seen Tuesday afternoon by his wife, Karen. They were here with their kids. It looks like they were about to move here from North Carolina. Otis and Karen were at the diner next to the Talon. Karen said he had gone to the restroom and never came back."

"North Carolina?" Lois asked. "You're kidding me, right?"

Chloe shook her head.

"How'd you find all that?" Julie asked.

"I have my ways," Chloe said slyly. "He's the only missing person last seen in Smallville. Lois, call your uncle and tell him what we, I, found."

"Okay," Lois said. She took out her cell phone and called her uncle's cell.

"Hello?" Stottlemeyer said from the other end.

"Hey, it's Lois. Chloe did a little research, and we think we figured out who the victim is."

"Really? I know there was a missing person last seen here in Smallville, but we're not sure if it's him or not."

"I'm surprised no one's looked at a picture of the missing person and made the connection. He's real funny looking though. Kind of looks like Barney Fife.

"Yeah, that's about how I'd describe him," Stottlemeyer said.

"His name is Otis Foley. Last seen by his wife, Karen, at the diner, when he was going to the restroom."

"Sheriff Adams said there were no missing persons."

"Maybe it wasn't reported to the police. But why?"

"I don't know."

"I'll call you if I find anymore information," Lois said.

"Okay, I'll do the same," Stottlemeyer said. They hung up.

"Hey, Chloe," Lois said. "Looks like Otis the town drunk was never reported missing to the police. The sheriff said there was no missing persons."

"That's weird," Julie said. "Why would the wife post it on the Internet but not to the police?"

"I don't know," said Chloe. "This is starting to get kind of weird."

* * *

Stottlemeyer filled in Monk, Natalie, and Clark on what Lois said. 

"Why wouldn't she tell the police?" Natalie wondered. "It's been 48 hours; a missing person's report could be filled out."

"Maybe she doesn't want him to be found," Monk said. "Maybe she killed him."

"Why would she do that?" Clark wondered.

"I don't know yet," Monk answered.

"But why would she put it on the Internet?" Natalie asked.

"I don't know that yet either," Monk admitted.

"Maybe we should find out who the kids are, and talk to the wife," Clark suggested.

"That's not a bad idea," Stottlemeyer said. "Let me call Lois, see if she could find out where the family is staying."

"Lois?" he said when Lois answered. "Could you find out maybe where Otis Foley's family staying?"

"Yeah, hang on." She asked Chloe to figure out the answer to this question. "They've been staying at the Hennessy Motel north of town."

"Thanks Lois," Stottlemeyer said. He hung up. "Clark, do you know where the Hennessy Motel is?"

"Yeah, the Foleys are staying at that dump?" Clark said.

"Apparently so. Let's go."

* * *

The Hennessy Motel was a dumpy motel just outside the city limits of Smallville. It was over fifty years old, and no one knew for sure if it actually had maid service. It hadn't appeared to have been cleaned in the last twenty years, and in some rooms, the wires were crossed, so if one switched on the light switch, the toilet would flush. 

The Howards' room was a prime example of this. Monk did not have much fun there. Everything was so dirty.

"Are you Karen Foley?" Stottlemeyer asked. The scared, nervous looking wife nodded.

"I'm Leland Stottlemeyer, San Francisco PD." He showed her his badge.

"Is Mommy in trouble?" asked a little girl of about five. "Did she do something bad?"

"No, no," Stottlemeyer said comfortingly. "We just have to ask her a couple of questions about your daddy."

"Ronny," Karen said to the boy who was obviously her son. "Take Bee to the pool and you guys can go swimming."

"Uh," Clark cut in. "You don't want to do that. That pool's in worse condition than these rooms. I wouldn't go swimming in there."

Karen looked blankly at Clark, as if she didn't hear what he said. But she did. "Why don't you go get me something from the vending machine. Unless there's something wrong with them too?"

"I don't know," Clark said.

"'Kay mom," said Ronny. He grabbed Bee by the hand and left the room.

"Anyways," Stottlemeyer continued. "Mrs. Foley, I understand your husband was last seen Tuesday afternoon at a diner in downtown Smallville, right?"

The plump blonde nodded. "That's right."

"I understand you didn't report it to the police, right?" he said.

"Yes," she said.

"How come?" Stottlemeyer wondered.

"I don't know, I guess I was so worried I just didn't think about it."

"And yet you posted information on him on the Internet?" he asked skeptically.

"Well you know, I was nervous, I guess I wasn't thinking straight. What's all this about, anyways?" she asked accusingly.

"I think I may know what happened to your husband, so if you would come with me, I could show you."

Hesitantly, Karen accepted his offer. She didn't want to bring Ronny and Bee, however, so Clark was stuck with a baby-sitting job. He was allowed to take the kids back to his house.

* * *

"Clark?" Martha Kent asked when she heard the front door open. In walked Clark, Ronny and Bee. "Hi Clark, who are these guys?" Martha asked, referring to Ronny and Bee. 

"This is Ronny and Bee Foley," Clark said. "Their father has something to do with the case Dad's in for."

Martha leaned down to their level. "Hi. I'm Mrs. Kent, Clark's mom."

"Hi Mrs. Kent," Bee greeted cheerfully. It appeared to Clark she was the less shy of the two.

"Do you two want to go outside and have a look at the farm animals?" Martha asked. They both nodded. Clark noted with curiosity that Ronny had not yet spoken a word since they met. "Why don't you go wait outside, and Clark will be out in a minute to show them to you." Ronny took his sister by the hand and led them outside.

"So what's going on with their father?" Martha asked as soon as they were gone.

"He was the guy who Lois found dead. He's been missing since Tuesday, but no one knew where he was. His wife never reported him to the police, but she posted it on the Internet. It seems kind of fishy to us."

"Do Ronny and Bee know their father's dead?" Martha asked, feeling sorry for the two children on the front porch.

Clark shook his head. "Their mother didn't want them to know anything. I hate to say this, but Monk already did, but maybe she killed her husband."

"Monk said that?" Martha asked, skeptically.

Clark nodded. "He could be right. Something's definitely off with her."

"Well we'll see," Martha said. "Go outside and show Ronny and Bee around the farm."

Clark went outside.

* * *

To Monk, Stottlemeyer, and Natalie, Karen Foley's blatant attempts at shock as she saw her husband's deteriorating body were a failure. She whipped up a few tears, but even those weren't too convincing. 

It was decided Clark would drop Karen's kids off after Monk, Stottlemeyer, and Natalie got back to the Kent Farm. On the ride back to the farm, they reviewed what they knew so far.

"I know she did it," Monk said. "I don't know why, but I know she did. She smokes. She wasn't in a non-smoking room at the motel, and there was a cigarette lighter on top of her suitcase. She smokes, just like the murderer. But why?"

"Was Otis rich?" Natalie wondered.

"I think we should go to that Chloe girl, wherever she's at," Monk suggested. "She seems good at finding things out."

"Okay," Stottlemeyer said. "When we get to the farm, I'll drive the kids back to their mom, and Clark can take you two to Chloe."

Meanwhile, at the Torch, Lana came by with a couple of coffees for Lois and Chloe and a hot chocolate for Julie. Natalie had called Lois and told her to expect them.

"Is Clark coming, too?" Julie asked excitedly.

Lana smiled. "I would assume so, since I don't think your mom and Mr. Monk could find their way here without _some_ direction."

"Or just a ride," Lois said. "Meanwhile, we're supposed to start trying to dig up any records on the Foley family."

Chloe nodded. "I'm on it."

_To Be Continued . . .  
_

_

* * *

_Okaynow review and see if you can find the magic number of Andy Griffith stuff in here. If you get it right, you're as big a dork as me! But you could just review, even if you don't know any Andy Griffith and tell me what you think of the story!


	4. Tickle Them Ivories

A/N: Hey everyone! I am soooooooooooooo sorry about the incredibly long wait. I forgot about this story for awhile, then I couldn't figure out what to do with it, so I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I promise! I hope my faithful readers will still see this and still read and review to it! Please forgive me, and that's how you can show your forgiveness! I'm sorry!

**Chapter 4: Tickle Them Ivories**

"So, are you taking us back to Momma?" Bee asked Captain Stottlemeyer from the back seat of the Ford Taurus rental car.

Stottlemeyer nodded. "Yeah. We're goin' back to the motel."

Bee looked up at Stottlemeyer through the rearview mirror. "You know my mommy's not very nice," she said sweetly.

This caught Stottlemeyer's attention. "She's not?" he said. "How come?"

"'Cause she drinks to much alc'hol," Bee said. "That's why Ronny hardly ever talks. 'Cause he's scared he'll say something bad."

"Does your mommy ever hit you?" Stottlemeyer asked concernedly.

"Not me," Bee said. "But sometimes Ronny. Only when she drinks a lot of alc'hol, though."

Stottlemeyer figured he should ask about their father, and if she knew anything about him, but he didn't quite know how to word a question like that. "Is she nice to your daddy?" was what he finally settled on.

"Not really," Bee said. "They don't love each other like mommies and daddies should. They fight a lot. So why were you asking my mommy questions about my daddy?"

Stottlemeyer didn't want to say, "Oh, because we think your mommy killed your daddy," so he hesitantly thought up an answer better suited for the five-year-old daughter.

"Um, well, we wanted to know when the last time she saw your daddy was," Stottlemeyer.

"Oh, I coulda answered that!" Bee said excitedly. "Tuesday!"

"That's what your mommy said." Captain Stottlemeyer couldn't believe he was almost discussing a case with a five-year-old. But Bee had provided a lot of information that could be useful. He looked at Ronny and noticed that he was glaring at his sister, but she was oblivious to it all.

"Bee!" A harsh whisper came from Ronny. "Why'd you tell him all that?"

Bee shrugged, like it was no big deal.

* * *

At the Torch, Chloe had already found a few things on the Foley family before Monk, Natalie, and Clark showed up. When they got there, she was eager to share what she knew. 

"This is interesting," she told them. "They're not rich, their dirt poor. But Otis has got a cousin who's mother is Otis's father's sister, and this cousin's uncle on his father's side is very rich. Almost as much as the Luthors. And from what I understand, he's got a piano that's one of the world's top ten expensive pianos."

"That's a pretty distant relationship to mean anything," Clark pointed out.

"Yeah, but everyone in that family, including Otis's cousin, died of some tragic death. Some were 'accidents,' and some were 'suicides.' At least that's what they want us to think. They could have been murders. But anyways, Otis was the next person in this cousin's uncle's will. Then the uncle person passed away and Otis did get everything, and that was just a couple of weeks ago. So someone, like a wife or some other next of kin, could have murdered him for the assets in the will, piano included."

"What's the significance of the piano?" Monk wondered.

Chloe grinned. "Didn't think I'd have a reason, did you? Well, Otis, was a very skilled pianist. He went to Juilliard. That's where he met Karen. She too, was a Juilliard pianist."

"So she probably wants the piano," Lana put in.

"Maybe," Monk said, with a look of thought etched on his face, "he was possessive of his pianos, and never let Karen touch them. Maybe she really wants to be able to play that piano, so she had to murder her husband to get to it."

"They're murdering for a piano?" Julie wondered. "And not for the money, but for the fact that it's a piano? That's seems a little extreme."

"That's why I think there could be more to this story," Monk added. "Or it could just be for all that money."

* * *

Shadows cast in bizarre shapes on the road. The grey Ford controlled by Stottlemeyer rolled gently down the street. 

The sun had already set, and so far, Stottlemeyer was not a big fan of Smallville in the dark. He could barely see through the darkness.

He slammed on his brakes when he saw it. A shadow lay in the road, in the shape of a human. Once he came to a complete stop, it became evident that there was nobody there, just the human shadow.

He got out of the car and looked around. When he had spent a few moments trying to figure out where the person was, he realized he should try to figure out where to stand for his own shadow to be cast on top of the other one. He moved himself to different positions until he found his own shadow on the mysterious one.

Thoroughly confused, Stottlemeyer stood there for a moment, dazed. Until he found little droplets of green liquid dripping on his head.

* * *

Shivers were sent down her spine as Martha entered the police station. She spotted a deputy sitting silently at his desk, and she headed over to him. 

"May I help you?" the deputy asked.

Martha nodded. "I'm here to see my husband, Jonathan Kent."

The deputy sighed. "Okay," he said. "Follow me." He led her back to a room lined with telephones; the same room Monk and Clark were in earlier. She waited for a few moments alone before a guard finally led Jonathan to the other side of the glass wall. She watched as he sat down and picked up a phone.

Martha followed his actions and picked up her own phone. She smiled.

"Hey Jonathan," Martha greeted. "How're you doing in there?"

Jonathan half-laughed. "Oh, just great," he said, voice heavy with sarcasm. "Can't wait to get outta here. Any idea how close I am?"

"No," Martha said sadly. "I'm not sure. From what I got from Clark, the guy's wife seems a little iffy, but I don't know."

"They've met the wife?" Jonathan asked. Martha nodded. She spent the next few minutes filling her husband in on what she knew.

"I really miss you," Martha told her husband. "Can't wait till you're home."

"Really?" Jonathan said as if he were a young man flirting with his girlfriend. "Ya really miss me?"

"Jonathan!" Martha protested, all the while wearing a big grin on her face. "Yes, it's gonna be a lonely night."

"Ooo, not as lonely as mine's gonna be, sweetheart."

They smiled at each other, and each was wishing they could kiss each other through the glass wall that separated them. Instead, Jonathan kissed his fingers and held it up to the wall while Martha did the same.

"Bye honey," Martha said.

"Bye, sweetie," Jonathan returned. Reluctantly, they hung up their respective phones and went their separate directions.

* * *

Stottlemeyer burst through the Torch office with a deep breath. 

"What the hell is wrong with this town?" he demanded.

Everyone looked up at him, all bearing the same expectant expression. Lois was the one who prompted her uncle to continue.

"Uh, what happened?" she wondered.

"I think I have some idea," Chloe said.

"You have green in your hair," Monk pointed out to Stottlemeyer.

"I know," Stottlemeyer said irritably. He went on to explain what had happened on his way from the motel.

Natalie, Monk, and Julie looked at Stottlemeyer in disbelief. Lana, Clark, Chloe, and Lois did not look too surprised.

"Told ya," Chloe said. "Meteor rocks. The reason for everything weird."

"We just have to figure out who it is this time," Clark said.

"The weird thing is," Stottlemeyer continued, "I kept getting the feeling that whatever it was, was after me in particular. I wonder if it has something to do with Otis Foley's murder."

"It could," Lana agreed. "Meteor freaks never seem to just attack randomly, they always have some sort of ulterior motive."

"Clark, why don't we check it out?" Chloe suggested. She knew Clark could handle it, he just didn't know it yet. "Let's go right now."

"Okay," Clark said. "Lana, Lois, you guys make sure they know how to get wherever they need to go, all right?"

"Don't worry Clark," Lana consoled. "We got everything under control."

Monk sighed. He figured he should probably see what's going on, too. "Mind if Natalie and I tag along?" he asked hesitantly, thinking this was a place he may not want to go to.

"Are you sure Mr. Monk?" Natalie wondered. "We don't know what kind of stuff we might get into." Truth was, she was nervous about going herself.

Monk nodded. "So can we go?" he asked again. Chloe and Clark exchanged glances before nodding in unison.

"Okay, Julie, you stay with the Captain, or Lana, or Lois," Natalie told her daughter. "Don't go wandering off by yourself, got it?"

Julie nodded. "Go Mom," she said. "Tell us what you find."

* * *

Within fifteen minutes, the foursome arrived at the site Stottlemeyer directed them to. At first they noticed nothing unusual. Chloe had brought along her digital camera, of course. 

"Here's a weird shadow," Monk pointed out to them. "It looks as if it belongs to a dog, more specifically, a blue healer."

"How do you know that?" Chloe asked.

"Well, the shape of the ears, in comparison to the size of the dog, and the shape and weight," Monk explained. "That's how I know."

"So if that's the blue healer," Clark started, "then where is she?"

"He," Monk corrected. "See down there?" He pointed down under the dog's belly. "Well, he looks like he's panting, but he's just standing there. Natalie, go stand where your shadow will overlap his."

"Why do I have to do it?" Natalie complained.

"Because those inexpensive hotel shampoos will never get the green out of my hair if the situation calls for it," Monk explicated.

Natalie sighed, before positioning herself where her shadow was on the dog's. "Okay, now what?"

No sooner had the words left her mouth than drops of green liquid slowly ruined her blonde hair.

_To Be Continued . . ._

* * *

Again, I apologize for the long wait, but please review, even if it's to tell me how mad you are at me for not updating very soon! But any flames on the story will be used to keep me warm, and won't be taken seriously. PLEASE REVIEW!_  
_


	5. What is the Green Goo?

Okay, what was with that? I got only one review for the last chapter? That's unacceptable. You'd better leave more reviews this time. Thanks to spidey210 for being my sole reviewer last chapter! You guys can do better, I know you can!

**Chapter 5: What is the Green Goo?**

Natalie's scream pierced through the air. Panting heavily, she reached up to touch her hair. She brought her hand down and studied the green goo that rest in it.

"Mr. Monk," she said. "Come look at this stuff. It's disgusting!"

Monk blinked twice at the word "disgusting", but he went over to Natalie to check out the mysterious green glop.

"That's the same stuff that was on the gloves," Monk said. "You remember Clark? It was the stuff we thought was paint."

"Yeah," Clark agreed. "Until you sniffed it." Monk nodded his head.

"But it's obviously not paint," Chloe added as she rubbed her finger on Natalie's outstretched palm. "It's too slimy to be paint. It's gotta be meteor stuff."

"What is it with the meteors?" Monk wondered.

"The shadow of the blue heeler," Chloe said. "The green slime. Everything weird in this town is explained by it."

Receiving blank stares from Monk and Natalie, Clark took over. "Have you guys noticed the north wall of the Torch?"

"I know there are pictures there but I didn't look too close," Natalie admitted.

"I did," Monk told them. "Pictures of people with odd deformities, strange events that happened here in Smallville, things like that. I was going to ask you about it, Chloe, but we got distracted."

"I call it the Wall of Weird," Chloe explained. "I keep that as a record of the weird stuff here. I figured out that it's all triggered by these meteor rocks."

"Oh," was all the reply she collected.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lana and Julie decided to play stalker. They got in Lana's purple SUV and headed out to the Hennessy Motel. After parking the car, Lana and Julie decided to "go undercover." 

They strode across the moonlit asphalt to the lobby. The pair had to stand at the front desk for nearly ten minutes before the receptionist was finally able to help them, further proof of the horrible service found at the motel.

"I need to get a room for the night," Lana told the receptionist. "Preferably smoking." Julie repressed the urge to snicker.

"No problem, babe," the older man said. "We got one left, room 123, right here in the front."

"Thank you," Lana replied.

"Could I get your name?" the man asked.

"Lana Lang."

After getting all the other necessary information, Lana and Julie headed off to room 123. This was the perfect room for them, since it was right next door to Karen Foley's room, 121.

"I am not going to get any sleep tonight in this dump," Julie told her newfound friend.

"That's the point," Lana explained. "We don't want to sleep, we want to be awake in case Karen Foley leaves her room."

"I thought we were watching the window in shifts," Julie said.

"Not anymore, it's impossible to sleep here. We'll just have to be tired together."

* * *

Lois was jerked awake by the sound of a howling dog. It sounded as if it were right below her window. She looked down and saw a wolf's shadow below her window, right up next to the house. 

"There aren't any wolves in Kansas," Lois muttered to herself. "Are there?"

She left the bedroom and stepped out into the hall, feeling her toes squish on her fuzzy pink slippers. She tiptoed to the stairs, and heard movement below. As quietly as she could, Lois grabbed an umbrella from the basket near the stairs to use as her weapon.

Silently, Lois made her way down the stairs toward the movement. She saw a figure moving about the kitchen. Acting on blind instinct, she ran towards the figure in the dark, screaming like a wild banshee.

Lois was about to strike when she heard a familiar voice call, "Lois, stop!" The figure switched on the light, revealing that it was just Martha.

"Mrs. Kent!" Lois exclaimed. "I am so sorry! I thought you were a burglar!"

"It's okay, Lois," Martha said. "I would have done the same thing. Did you hear the wolf howling?"

Lois nodded. "There aren't supposed to be wolves in Kansas, are there?"

Martha shrugged. "We should go check it out." Lois agreed, and told the older woman about the shadow she saw. Martha agreed it was creepy, and they went outside.

They padded down the porch steps, flashlights in hand. Then they stopped dead in their tracks when they heard the wolf howl again.

A car rolling into the driveway cut off the sound. It was an unfamiliar green Chevy sedan.

"Who is that in the middle of the night?" Martha wondered aloud.

Lois peered into the car. "I think I know. His name is Randy Disher. He works with my uncle back in San Francisco."

"And what is Randy Disher doing here in the middle of the night?" Martha questioned. Lois just shrugged as Lieutenant Disher got out of his car and made his way over to the two women at the porch.

"Hey, you're Lois Lane, right?" Randy asked. Lois nodded, annoyed, so he continued. "Hi, I'm Lieutenant Randy Disher. Do you know where your uncle is?"

"Well he's not here," Lois said. "But you can try the Best Western outside of downtown."

"Okay, I can take a hint, I'll leave," Randy said. He hopped back in his car and drove off towards town.

"What was that about?" asked Martha.

Lois shrugged. "Don't ask. That guy's a little on the strange side. But let's get back to our wolf hunt, shall we?"

Martha nodded. "Let's start where you saw the shadow."

"No need," Lois responded. "There goes the shadow, running down the driveway now. But where's the actual wolf?"

* * *

"Julie, wake up," Lana quietly demanded. 

"Did they leave?" Julie asked groggily.

Lana shook her head. "No, but Karen Foley is walking across the parking lot now. She's returning, not leaving."

"Does that mean she just left her kids alone in the hotel room?" Julie said, now wide-awake.

"I guess so," Lana responded. "Let's see if they leave now. I guess she didn't take her car, but they might make a getaway. Let's watch."

They sat in front of the window for nearly half an hour with the lights off, both dozing off, before Julie awoke to the sound of a door shutting. She saw Karen Foley lead two small children to the car, baggage in hand. She nudged her sleeping partner's shoulder.

"Lana, they're leaving," she told the older girl.

Lana yawned. "Okay, let's go, come on." They hurried out the door and got into Lana's GMC SUV. Lana quickly turned the ignition and they discreetly got behind Karen Foley's beat-up brown Dodge sedan.

"Fun, my first car chase," Julie said, breaking the silence. "I've never been this involved with one of Mr. Monk's cases. This is really fun."

Lana smiled. "This is my first car chase, too. I hope I don't give us away."

They drove a few minutes in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, before Lana realized where they were headed.

"They're headed out to the morgue," she told Julie.

* * *

Meanwhile, Martha and Lois were busy contemplating their next move. The wolf had long since left, but they were at a loss for what to do. 

"What if it's Karen Foley?" Lois asked her. "I mean the wolf, the person, and the blue heeler Chloe called about. What if it's her?"

"It could be," Martha replied. "But I still wonder what she'd be up to. And why would she kill her own husband?"

"Well . . ." Lois said. She went on to explain what all Chloe had found out back at the Torch.

"So she's got a motive, but what's her alibi?" Martha asked.

"I'm not sure, but I think we need to find out ," Lois replied. That's when she noticed the puddle of green goo that rest on the window sill.

_To Be Continued . . .  
_


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